DEAR STRAIGHT TALK: I’m 17 and it’s embarrassing, but I’ve never had a boyfriend, kissed a guy, or been on a date. I’m just not a flirty girl; I can’t stand girls who act all giddy around guys. I know I’m not ugly, but I have no self-confidence and no clue how to tell when a guy is interested in me. I’m crazy over this guy I sit next to in one of my classes. We talk every day. Sometimes it seems like he’s flirting with me, but I can’t be sure. Recently, I saw him at his job at In N Out. He didn’t see me. When I told him about it later, he said, “Next time, you better say hi to me.” In class, a girl passed him her number and he threw it out. Then she wrote, “Do you want to have sex.” Again, he threw it out. I’m nothing like that girl, but still, I’m hesitant to make the first move. What should I do? I’m impatient to be in a relationship.
From Farren, 20:
I was a junior before I had my first boyfriend and first kiss. It was hard, but now I’m glad I waited. I’m not sure if this guy is flirting with you, but if he tells you to say hi when you see him at work, he is genuinely interested in you, or at least curious. Ask him if he wants to hang out or do homework together. It’s not too forward and it shows you are interested in getting to know him. He’s obviously looking for someone with personality, not just some girl who wants sex.
From Sawyer, 16:
Holy smokes, take a leap of faith! So what if you fall off the horse? Just get back on! To have self-confidence, you need to feel good about yourself. I run and work out and that makes me feel good about myself, inside and outside. Think about what you could do to feel better about yourself, then do it.
From Curtis, 16:
The best way to start a relationship is to start by being friends.
From Brie, 16:
If a guy is interested, he will find reasons to touch you, talk to you, be near you. You are too uptight. Be casual about it and get to know him as a friend. Say, “Hey, wanna hang out and do some homework?”
From Hannah, 16:
When a guy is flirting with you, you know it because he will hold your gaze a second too long. But stop overanalyzing and ask him to coffee as a friend. If he’s throwing those notes away he’s not looking for a girl like that, but for a girl like you.
From Lennon, 21:
Me thinks he probably likes you. He may be as nervous as you are. There were girls that wanted to have sex with me in high school, too, but knowing that didn’t boost my confidence. I still felt awkward and shy around the girl I liked. You either need to suck it up and ask him to do something, or learn to flirt so he can be more confident that you like him. You didn’t say hi to him at his work. He might think you’re just being nice to him in class
DEAR “TRACY:” Me thinks he might like you, too. I hope the panel’s advice is helpful. I couldn’t agree more with Sawyer’s suggestion to take up an appropriate activity that will build your self-confidence. I have also found confidence in the words of a wise friend who said, “If a relationship is meant to be, you really can’t do or say anything wrong.” There’s real truth to this. I hope it gives you the comfort to take some risks and enjoy what emerges, whether friendship or romance.